Archive for the 'Relationships' Category

Love trumps kids, income, jobs, faith & education

I’ve followed the online dating industry for 16 years. shares some of their secret sauce in The Love Equation: How Calculates Your Ideal Mate.

One interesting fact – people don’t make contact if you don’t meet their visual/physical requirements like body type.  But they break their own rules otherwise.  Over 50% of people disregard their must-haves when it comes to kids and income.  Over 20% ignore job, faith, and education.

But it’s unclear whether that means flirting and sex know few boundaries, daters lack self-discipline, or we all lie to ourselves.

In any case, one truism remains.  Women DO like to date good Jewish boys.


Social Marketing: It’s Relationships, not Numbers

I’m a numbers man.  Yeah, it’s a competitive guy thing.  Today it’s marketing metrics.  Seven years ago it was social media.

I saw the top Dallas LinkedIn member had 1,200 connections.  In the words of a A Chorus Line, I said “I can do that”.  And I did, and much more.  In three years I was number three in the world.  Objective achieved.

Value modest.  Cost in time great. Return low. Recommended no.

The past two years the game has changed, expanded to Facebook and Twitter.  But there is one difference.  At least with LinkedIn I had access to connection data like location and industry to target contacts.  I had an email address I could mail (for now, until LinkedIn takes that away). It’s a real contact.

You don’t have that with Facebook and Twitter.   The value of a marginal unengaged contact is nil. And 100,000 times 0 is still 0.  As Paul Gillin writes in Do fans and followers really count?, anyone can buy or acquires tens of thousands of followers.  So you can keep your 45,293 twitheads.  I’m not impressed.

Our updated scorecard for the Twitter numbers studs:

Value negligible.  Cost in time modest. Return negligible. Recommended never.

And it’s a good thing.  Because you can focus on the numbers that really count – customers, sales, and engagements.  You can build relationships that have real enduring value … not big numbers filled with hot air.

Now if you still want to build those LinkedIn connections, have I got a deal for you …

Who are you? Tribe scholarships. The Economy.

One consequence of the recession is that we may know ourselves better than before.  Job security has been sliding downward for at least one entire generation.  Few of us expect to be at the same company five years from now, much less when we retire.  Each crash of the economy is a ratchet, forcibly resetting our business, career, and life  expectations as companies die, lay off, retreat, and outsource. Bob Cringely’s No Joy in Mudville exposes the seamier side of US corporati0ns and supposedly “good” companies like IBM.

Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  It can be once you get past the shock, accept the changed reality, and rediscover yourself and your talents.  Or not.  Some of us never recovered from the tech crash a decade ago.  Today many of us, including me, have experienced losing a job or a home in the past ten years if not recently.   I’ll give you the iPod.  But do we really need 60 inch HDTVs and 3,500 square foot homes?

The continued rise in independent work means more people are becoming entrepreneurs.  But they often don’t have the experience or tools to make the transition.  That’s why I formed Tribe Blue where we provide top quality consulting, coaching, and group support … at an affordable price. We even offer scholarships so you can get the program at absolutely no cost.

Whether you’ve experienced a job, housing, or financial loss, or live or work in fear that you will be next, the psychological impact of this recession on individuals is profound.  It can affect not just your livelihood, but your family and health.   It  should not be neglected.  A good therapist will help.  I recommend a great one, my partner Lu Vorhies.

Gender can play an interesting role.  Check out the personal essay  When Your Employer Hands You Lemons from Erik Proulx.  Here is a summary.

Buried in our caveman subconscious is this need for victory. At every turn of our lives we’re competing—for attention, grades, athletic victories, job openings, status, awards, promotions, earnings. When we lose a job, we don’t mourn the loss; we mourn the defeat.


How does that fit in there?

If you’re a nerd like me, one of the legendary industry publications is the Annals of Improbable Research and their annual Ig Nobel Prizes for the best research.

The Public Health prize this year went to a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of protective face masks in an emergency.  … Kinda like a reverse motorboat (see Craig Ferguson). And you thought the only thing they were good for was storing boobies and iPods and slinging rocks.

As an extra bonus I present one of the all-time award winners – MRI Sex.  The amazing video shows actual copulation as imaged by an MRI machine, and thus the title of this post and the image below.

MRI photo

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