I’m not that kind of fella

“Should You Have To Pay To Have Lunch With ME?” That’s Jason Alba’s question below.

I am in the same position as Jason.   It’s a great networking challenge.  And it’s just like dating.  People want to advance to home plate and take advantage of you without first touching all the bases.  I’m just NOT that kind of fella.

I agree to meet in the rare case where I can clearly get something out of it, such as the other party is a heavy hitter or a prospective client.

Otherwise a meeting is an interim, not the first, step.  It’s just like sending a networking introduction.  The initiator must cultivate and not force the relationship, which respect both parties’ time.   There are issues and questions that need to be addressed:

  • Is the initiator showing genuine interest by understanding me, showing common interests, writing a custom personal email and not a form letter, and flattering my zaftig shape in that sexy pink polka dot dress?
  • How exactly can I help him?
  • What do I get out of it?
  • Can I point him to other resources like my LinkedIn wiki?

I don’t put out on the first request.  I’ll start with an email exchange, advance to a phone call, and THEN meet if there is mutual interest.  I’m really not playing hard to get.  I’m building a relationship.

Otherwise if they just want to meet and use you, I agree with Jason.  I invite the other party to come to one of our DallasBlue events where he or she can meet me.  And I can be all his or hers if they want …  for the price of my consulting fee.


——– Original Message ——–

From: Jason Alba

Check out this post where I tell people why I can’t go to lunch for them unless they pay my hourly rate:

Sound crazy?  Perhaps it is.  But read the 30ish comments and then decide.
And yes, I tend to go off on people who ignorantly leave lame/mean comments … I’m really trying to get better at controlling my keyboard :p

Jason Alba
::  http://JibberJobber.com – Organize your Job Search
::  http://LinkedInForJobSeekers.com – DVD
::  DVD bundle: http://JibberJobber.com/specials
::  http://twitter.com/JasonAlba
::  Review my third book? http://ow.ly/1WhqM


1 Response to “I’m not that kind of fella”

  1. 1 Meta Brown January 31, 2011 at 8:05 am

    Interesting that you used the analogy to “I’m not that kind of girl.” You understand that is a euphemism, right? It’s nicer than saying, “I am not interested in doing that with YOU.” Although I doubt any woman has used that line in the last 40 years or so, it would still be a better choice than presenting a price list.

    Don’t emulate Jason’s response. Nothing good can possibly come of it. You don’t have to accept every invitation, but you can darned well come up with some reasonably kind and helpful response.

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